First, just so you don’t think of me as a Grammy-crushing monster, I feel like you should know a couple things.
1. She is very very very very very competitive. (I get this shiz honestly y’all)
2. She is in excellent condition and has no physical ailments.
3. She is totally coming for me too.
Thanksgiving is a big deal in my family. We go balls to the wall out y’all! I’m talking multiple flavors of pie, huge turkey, enough mashed potatoes to fill a bathtub, and stuffing as far as your eye can see (if you’re near-sighted). But, we also follow up our extreme Thanksgiving meal challenge (which, I feel like I win every year) with some exercise, because we aren’t gluttonous monsters y’all. Sometimes we play softball, and in that case, I’m not like a winner winner but more like a winner in spirit you know, which is more valuable in the long run because it means I have a good character and all the rest of the family who beat me are probably lacking a lot of character and also they’re cheaters.
But this year, this year, we’re playing kickball and I feel really really good about my chances for crushing the people I love who happen to be on the opposing team. Because I have freaky strong legs and a history ( in the 4th grade) of being super duper good at kickball. This year, Grammy can’t use her trick pitch (known as the “dipsy-doodle”) on me. No, this year, I’m coming for her. This is my year to shine….in the family kickball game.
Also, I totally get to call Captain Thoughtful for my team (you know, because of the love and marriage and everything) and he is a giant who is crazy good at sports. So, yeah. Watch yourself Grammy.
